Starks, Ron (“Ron Dee”) Dee.  A quiet force of Nature, Ron Dee left this world on January 4, 2024, at the age of 62.  His life was shortened by a combined onslaught of HIV, congestive heart failure and cancer, against which he valiantly battled for years, during which he made the conscious and very determined choice seek what was joyful, beautiful and funny about life, to uplift others, avoiding the slippery slope of fear, anger or self-pity, all of which was usually conveyed by a highly developed sense of snark, wit and sarcasm.

The beloved only son of the late Wilbur and the late Lois Ring Starks of Marion, Indiana, Ron Dee had the fortune to have had two mothers; his biological mother Lois, and the maternal love lavished on him by choice of the late Shirley Maxine Hayes.  He fathered one daughter, Lynde Starks Rich (Sam Rich) and was the loving grandfather of Halie, and Hanna Rich. He also leaves behind a sister, Kim Starks Davis, of Seminole, Florida, as well as nieces and nephews, and a loving aunt Karen Jane Riggs, of Marion, Indiana.  As Ron Dee had been blessed by the love and nurturing of voluntary relatives of choice, he honoured that blessing by doing the same, and included Amanda Stover (Ryan Stover) as a daughter, and Ryder Rich and Taylor Coons as beloved grandchildren. All are of his hometown, Marion, Indiana.

Such was Ron Dee’s heart that he built and enjoyed the love of the families he created, such as his BFF and brother, Bryant Straub; yet a third loving maternal figure, Julie Courtney; and two further brothers of choice, Joe Tracy and Darrell Torpy  The camaraderie, laughter, wisdom and love of Ron Dee is treasured as a great blessing in the lives of the men with whom he bonded as brothers by choice and his loss leaves them staggered.  (For the record, this would unquestioningly inspire him to comment, “oh, toughen up, buttercups, and just remember what I told you.  Also, laugh more.  There’s too much to be relished and enjoyed to howl and carry on.  Besides, you all look terrible with those awful crying faces.”). A last, loving decision he made, knowing each would desperately need it, was to align two people who would be devastated by his loss; giving his daughter Lynde a new “father” in his BFF Bryant Straub, and Bryant a daughter that is a living legacy to Ron Dee and his time in this world.  He knew they would ease one another’s path in facing a world without him and this allowed him to go on assured they’d have one another.

Ever the loving and dutiful daughter, Lynde has honoured her father’s request to mention the friendship of the delightful Denny Cochran, and that of his wife, Di Anderson.

Ron Dee faced HIV when it was still a mysterious plague considered a guaranteed death sentence, about which little was known and the climate worsened by a dearth of information and understanding, leaving everyone steeped in fear.  For 30 years he faced fear, prejudice and an insidious virus with determination, living on to tell and be an example to others that where there is life, there is hope, and to face each day with the commitment to live it fully.  Besides his families, his great loves were his dogs, his omnipresent cigarettes and the joy and pride he took in his long career at Walter Knoll Florist.  It should not be a surprise that someone with such a mighty heart and joie de vivre would be massively talented and adept with the language of flowers and living things.  This love lapped over into his private life, where he patiently, tenderly and lavishly nurtured his garden and plants.  This was a language he spoke fluently, the language of beauty and love in and of nature, expressed in flowers and plants, the solid, loyal companionship and unconditional love of good dogs, the art of steadily “being there”.

Ron Dee was a part of the Marion High Steppers for several years and was an spectacular sword twirler. He landed a toss with a 4 spin perfect catch that helped win the Indiana State Championship. 

There will be a visitation and commemoration at Saint Louis Cremation, 2135 Chouteau Avenue, on Sunday, January 14th, from 11 am to 2 pm. There will also be as a “Celebration of Life” at the Holiday Inn Express, 1000 North Baldwin on Saturday, January 20, in Marion, Indiana, from 1 pm to 4 pm.  Ron Dee will be cremated, only because he accepted that a Viking burial would be de trop for Saint Louis, and the local military installation ignored a request for his ashes to be shot into the stratosphere with glitter and confetti via a Howitzer (the US Military had never been known for their senses of humour.)

Ron Dee would stress that flowers should be for the living, and in lieu of flowers, would have been honoured by donations made in his name to Ryan White HIV/AIDS Program – DOORWAYS (Donation information located at https://doorwayshousing.org/get-involved/individuals/, use the red button “Donate” ) to help provide housing, support and to bring relief, comfort and vital information to those who still suffer from a disease yet unconquered.  He would also enthusiastically encourage anyone able, willing and committed to adopt a dog from their local Humane Society or Stray Rescue, saving a life and also gaining a loyal friend.

Grief is the price we pay for love, but love never disappears.  It just changes form.I Comfort and peace come slowly, but they do come, in recognizing its new forms, however small or subtle.