Gary “Michael” Stancil
Gary Edwin Stancil, known as Michael to his many friends, passed away on March 8 while surrounded by his loving sisters and best friend, Steve Hanekamp, after suffering injuries sustained during a car accident. Gary was born on January 29, 1954 to Edwin Stancil and Jean Butler Lyons (deceased) in Gadsden, Alabama. Gary was also preceded in death by his grandparents, Edgar & Violet (Webb) Butler, Ann (Blackmon) Buckelew and Garnett Stancil Sr. He is survived by his sisters, Susan (Martin) McCallium, Elisa (Zak White) Stancil, Kathryn Sparks, and Julie (Craig) Dobbins; father Edwin (Katie) Stancil; nieces and nephews, Shaun McCallium, Kory McCallium, Victoria Snead, Tabitha (Jason) Bozeman, Tiffany (Cary) Long, Joshua Carlson, Christopher Carlson, Tera Carlson, Logan Sparks, and Bennett Dobbins, along with a host of great-nieces, great-nephew; extended family and friends.
Gary was a warm, welcoming, and lighthearted individual that made a lasting impact on everyone who had the fortune of meeting him. Gary was never one to go with the drab and boring – he liked adding color and sunshine to everything and was known for his uplifting quips. Gary was diligent in his efforts to make everyone feel welcome.
Gary was a dedicated public servant who devoted more than 27 years to the HIV, STD, and Hepatitis Prevention field, including nearly 17 years with the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services’ Bureau of HIV, STD, and Hepatitis. Prior to this work, Gary left home in his teen years to enter the priesthood including studying at the Vatican in Italy. Gary served as a Roman Catholic Priest for 20 years before leaving the priesthood. During the HIV/AIDS crisis, Gary worked on the AIDS crisis hotline providing information and comfort to callers. Gary served as an Adjunct Professor of Field Education at the Aquinas Institute, School of Theology, for more than 15 years, where he was well respected by faculty and students.
The family would like to especially thank the doctors, nurses and staff at St Louis University, Neuro ICU, for their compassionate and excellent care during such a difficult time.
Gary was a loving brother, son, uncle and cousin, as well as a friend to many and will be greatly missed. A memorial liturgy for Gary to celebrate his life will be held on Monday, May 1 at 5:30 p.m. at Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis. A reception will be held after the service. In lieu of flowers and in honor of Gary’s selfless dedication to his community, the family requests donations be made in his memory to the St Louis EFA PAWS program, www.stlefa.org/PAWS.
Michael was not only a good friend to myself but he also had such a huge impact on my son. He was adored and respected by family. We all love you and miss you Michael.
Michael was a person that brightened your day.
He could make you laugh at simple things and wish you would have thought of that.
He is missed and will forever be missed. Southern Bell (His nickname for me)
I loved Michael so much. He brightened a room when he walked in and touched so many people while doing so. He was truly a gift and a blessing to this world. I will miss him so much and my heartfelt condolences go to his family and friends and all who knew him.
Michael showed kindness and compassion to the world and he welcomed everyone in to it! He made me understand, value and gave meaning to my human and spiritual experiences in a way that no other person has. I am truly grateful for my friendship with him and will always remember his kindness, love and generosity. Thanks so much for sharing your gifts with the world!
My heartfelt sympathies to Steve, Kathryn, Elisa, Susan, Julie and his many friends and relatives. He will be missed so much!
Gary and I were classmates at St. James Catholic School and he was a good friend during that time. He will be missed. May he rest in peace.
Michael was truly one of kind. His kindness and love for others had no bounds. We had many discussions over the last 5 years. I will keep his advise and wisdom with me and will pass it on to others. His ability to make others feel better was gift. Wither it was a compliment, a smile, or a piece of candy sliding across you desk he always knew what you needed. He was a great man and I will always miss him.
Michael Stancil was one of the great mentors of my life. I met him in 1995 when we both were attending prevention meetings for HIV/AIDS and always wondered who the smart guy behind me was who was always asking questions. Later I found out it was Michael and he became a mentor for me and also a friend. I will miss you Michael but your spirit will live on with all of those who love you!
I loved Michael’s spirit and gentleness. I worked with him many years ago and he still leaves an imprint on my heart. I am sorry for your loss.
Michael was a beautiful and kind man who made a profound impact on my life. My condolences to his family and all of those who knew and loved him.
I learned of the tragic event about Gary Stancil from another former classmate today. Gary and I attended St. James Catholic School in Gadsden, AL together and also Alma Hinson Jr High in Attalla, AL. Gary was always well liked by everyone and he had such a kind and gentle spirit. Sadly, we lost touch over the years. My prayers go out to his family.
Michael was the kind of guy that took you about two seconds to warm up to – you had no choice – you were drawn to him. He was the kind of person everyone wanted to hang around with. Never a harsh word or complaint. A good friend to all who knew him. Love you Michael with the pink triangle and the many personalities!
I miss you, buddy, you are the best!!!!
How many stories told? How much laughter did we share? Michael was a friend to so many, I am lucky that I knew him and consider him my friend. Another like him will not pass this way.
Just like how you don’t forget the tune when a song fades out and stops playing, I will never forget the priceless memories of our friendship even though you are going away.
Miss you Michael. See you in heaven. Love your friend, Jim
It is Michael’s nature to go before the rest of us to make certain everything is ready when we get to heaven. He gave hope, healing and life itself to thousands. Although he would never accept the title, Michael is a hero who will continue to inspire us as we carry on his legacy. Your wit, whimsy and wisdom will be deeply missed my friend.
Michael was the first person I met when I stepped into STLEFA as a volunteer (a million years ago), and he was also the first co-chair of the prevention CPG when I worked with the state of MO. These two experiences of partnership with him spoke volumes about his kindness, compassion for others, commitment to the community, his staff and colleagues, and to humanity. As the years passed, our paths would delightfully cross in scholarly collaborations and consultation on issues HIV and STI. I loved Michael dearly and am so sad not to be in the states to celebrate his life with you all. Steve, my heart goes out to you. Love to all the friends and family who mourn Michael’s wonderful spirit. We will toast his life from Switzerland on that special day of remembrance in May.
Mike, difficult to refer to you in the past tense when I know so much of your spirit continues to live because of the many lives you touched. I picture your giggle and laugh as we exchanged stories and how you could be so tickled with yourself when you had a really good one. Your wit, intelligence, positive attitude, sensitivity for other’s feelings, respect for the opinions of others, your heartfelt homilies while serving Mass for Diginity, your Southern charm, putting the needs of others before yourself and most of all your love and friendship, obviously I could go on and on and it would never be enough. God blessed you with so many gifts and for those of us who were fortunate enough to know you we were blessed too because you were our gift. Personally I could not have survived without your loving words and hugs. I will miss you with all my heart but I know you are at peace and smiling with that grin that we all know and loved. My dear Friend Mike I love you and thank you for being in my life. You will never be forgotten just as kindness is never forgotten.
Michael and I were co-chairs of the HIV/STD Prevention Group early days, when I was the Statewide Planner for the CPG for MDH. I am heartbroken to learn of his passing. I was just looking him up today to give him a call as we had lost touch over the last 10 years…Michael was one of the most kind and giving souls I have ever known. I will cherish his memory and miss him. Sending Love to you my old friend.
Still missing you. Your smiling face. You always made me feel better just with a look, a kind word. The room would just get brighter just because you were there. You were so patient and willing to break down even the hardest tasks to make it workable. Thank you my friend.
Michael Stancil was an extra-ordinary human being in not unique. We met at Kenrick Seminary in 1977 where we were classmates. He was bubbly, affirming, and generous to everyone in his orbit. When I left Kenrick to marry my spouse, Michael David, he was the only person who helped me move across town and, then, continued to maintain out relationship. In fact, he served as one of deacons at our home mass with Father Bernie. And on one occasion he saved my Kenrick career with the touch of his hand as I marched across our classroom to punch our teacher in his face for a trick he pulled at the end of our group dynamic seminar. That was a close one. Michael David and I also made at least two retreats at the SMP priory in advance of our 43 year journey, which ended last year with Michael David’s passing. By the way, “Brother Michael” told some of the most amusing stories about growing up in the Deep South and the characters he encountered there early in his life. He was lovely, gentle man.