John Arthur
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John Martin Arthur, age 68, of Chesterfield, Missouri, passed away on February 4, 2021, in
St. Louis from complications of cancer. John was born in St. Louis to David and
Catherine McArdle Arthur on December 3, 1952. He married Elaine (Schepker) in 1977
and then moved to Southern California. After successful business careers there, and a full, active life of community friendships, John and Elaine returned to St. Louis County in 2010.
Born into a dynamically diverse family, John always maintained a sense of peace and calm. He had a sophisticated sense of style, a charming humor, and a knack for saying and doing the right thing. He was constantly questioning and learning. He listened before he spoke, and thought before he acted; but when he did speak or act, he did so with intelligence, clarity, and confidence. People wanted to be with John. His presence enriched their lives.
John was always his own man. He created his own harmony. He sang his own tune. He did it his way.
His life and the lives of those he touched were better because of him. As we remember John,
and rejoice in those memories, we think of him with a wide smile on his face, a mirthful twinkle in his eye, a martini in one hand, a cigar in the other, and Frank Sinatra crooning in the background—“I did it my way”.
He will be sorely missed.
John is survived by his beloved wife Elaine of 43 years; his sister, Maureen Arthur Ruben; his
brothers David (Marsha) and Gerald; the Schepker siblings, brothers-in-law, Stanley (Barb), Donald (Marge), James (Anita), Michael (Kim), and sister-in-law, Rebecca Schepker. He was predeceased by his brother-in-law, Aaron J. Ruben. He was the loving and adored uncle to many nieces and nephews, as well as many friends and family.
A special thanks to Alan and Kathy for providing a welcoming California refuge for many return visits to John and Elaine’s former home.
In deep appreciation for the care John received, the family has requested donations be made to the Siteman Cancer Center. Donations can be made online at: friendsofsiteman.wustl.edu or by mailing a check to Siteman Cancer Center, 7425 Forsyth Blvd, MSC 1204, St. Louis, MO 63105.
Given current public health concerns, a later private memorial service will be held with family members.
See Video Below- John’s Life in Pictures
John, you have made all of us better people. Smarter. Funnier. Kinder. Braver. Your passing leaves us in a much better, but for now, a deeply sadder, place. Your life reminds us today, as heartbroken as we are, to cherish every moment and savor the joys that our loved ones bring to us each day. And your life gives us a legacy of gifts that we promise to carry forward, to share with others — and to tell those others, in our hearts and souls, “This is from John Arthur….take care of it, treasure it, and pass it along.” Thank you, John — your rich life will continue to enrich the lives of all who had the joy of knowing you.
Us cousins always thought he was so cool. Loved movie dates when you guys would be in town. I’ll always remember our trip to CA with baby Cameron. It was so great to spend time in your beautiful home with you both and Chelsea of course. He will be greatly missed and dearly remembered. My love to you and John’s family.
Uncle John,
You were one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Every time we spoke, you always wanted to know how my life was going. You’d ask questions, probe me for answers, and always followed up with everything I said. Always curious. One of my earliest memories of you from when I was a child was seeing Back to the Future II in theaters with all my cousins one Christmas. It’s a great memory that I think of every time I watch the movie. I will miss you always.
Uncle John, my memory of you will always be colored by the fact that my earliest experiences with you and Aunt Elaine were during my most formative years–my childhood. As a child, I eagerly awaited your annual visitation to our home in Connecticut for Thanksgiving, because I knew it would be a time of adventuring, laughing, and of course indulging in the finest and latest blockbuster movies of the season. Thanks to you, I was *finally* allowed to see Jurassic Park on VHS, which is honestly one of my happiest memories to date. You and Aunt Elaine managed to maintain your presence as the fun, loving, supportive uncle and aunt well into my adulthood as I grew up and even spent time living in California and visiting you as a young adult. I will always aspire to carry myself with the same balance of honesty, thoughtfulness, and conscientiousness as you have shown me over my lifetime. I will miss you very much. Love, Carrie
A beautiful tribute to a life well lived.
I will always think of John as my brother. He surprised me with his wit and his gentleness. He was a kind and gentle man
who truly enriched the lives of others.
Love you always, brother John.
Marsha
John and our dad are now playing a round of golf. Mom is waiting for their return, expecting to be taken to dinner.
John: They were always so proud of you.
You created the twinkle in their eyes.
Love, David
John Arthur –my most generous, kind, gentle friend. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful memories of our time together. You loved life. You lived fully with your beautiful soul mate, Elaine. Your sweet laugh, your constant questions, our thoughtful conversations even when our opinions differed. I cherish all of these memories. Thank you.
John Arthur– your love of art and design informed your professional work and personal style. You filled a room with beauty. You loved stories whether great authors like Hemingway and Faulkner or great filmmakers like Wilder, Wyler, or Welles. I was fortunate that California was my travel territory and would stay with you and Elaine twice a year. So many fun years of strolling on the beach in Malibu, listening to Sinatra, sipping a Bombay martini, singing Lyle Lovett while cruising in a convertible, meeting for a late-night nosh at the Broadway Deli, driving down PCH at sunset, catching an art show at LACM, cocktails at The Ivy, barbeque in Laguna… just a few snippets of the good life. There was so much more…
John Arthur — we all ended up moving back to our roots. I am so fortunate for these past few years of Frontenac movies, swims at the Lifetime, happy hours at Flemings, drives to Kansas City. No matter what, you are the GOOD LIFE and I will always carry your heart in mine.
Love Mary Anne
To Elaine:
Our hearts are broken, but you are responsible for bringing a kind, loving, smart, sophisticated, funny-as-hell guy into our lives. Our memories of Thanksgivings in Connecticut, our memories of John always interested in what others were doing and how they felt, our memories of lots of laughter, and oh, memories of Frank Sinatra playing in the background, will always live within us. We lost a gem; a unique and lovely man. But we remember and honor him always. Got a martini?
I worked with John for many years and he not only helped me with my career but helped make me a better person. He made me laugh, think more deeply and to not take myself so seriously, but enjoy the ups and downs of life. Thanks John, you will be missed.
Kind, comfortable and a sharp sense of humor. He was a great hang and he always seemed smarter after the 1st martini. Miss you my friend.
We had a lot of fun writing together. We even got one produced for one of Aaron’s shows. Writing with cigars, always. I, too, remember martinis and our shared love of great food. When we got food to go it was from three different places for a feast. You were always so easy and comfortable to be with. So many great memories of gatherings at Aaron and Maureen’s house. Holidays, birthdays, food, martinis, cigars and laughs. We had a million laughs. I feel like another piece of the mosaic of my life has gone missing. Rest in peace, John. Thanks for the beautiful memories.
John was a great friend, aside from being the Best Boss Ever! With his personal attributes of kindness, wit, compassion, grace, wisdom, perseverance and courage, John was beloved by all who knew him. You couldn’t help but love that man! He made every day a party, especially after a long, exhausting day on the trade show floor when he would swoop up an entourage of clients and staff for a late dinner at the Palm, or Morton’s, or Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. You left us too soon, Johnnie, but you left us memories to last forever. Adieu, mon ami, abientot…????????
So sorry to hear of John’s passing. He lived big to match his heart.
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Oh and like ‘ol blue eyes, you did it your way.
Thinking of you Elaine during these difficult times.
John was a dear friend and one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. He loved life and lived it well. He introduced me to Bon Appetit magazine and my love of cooking was born. There was no greater treat than a dinner party at John and Elaine’s where great food, conversation and the perfect drink were the menu du jour. He introduced me to my career and we were a great team for many years. I will always be grateful for his friendship, wit, humor and guidance. Slan laet my Irish friend ☘️
Uncle John,
I will always remember your smile and the way you made us all laugh. I’ll never see a bottle of Bombay without thinking “Oh, is Uncle John here?” You we’re kind and caring and set a great example for a loving marriage. I always looked forward to your visits to Topeka and your quirky sense of humor. Thanks for putting up with my politics.
You’ll always be one of my very favorite uncles (shhh…don’t tell the others). Cheers to you!
Love,
Beth, Rory, and Olivia
I am so sorry to hear of John’s passing. I will always be thankful for his coaching and mentoring in my early years working in events/tradeshows. Especially grateful to him for teaching me about the finer art of a good martini! So cheers to you my friend may you rest in peace. ????
Elaine what a lovely tribute! John will be missed by all. My father absolutely loved John!!! I have many memories of my Dad and John having good laugh and drink together at Bissel Mansion. I will continue to think of you and pray for your healing during this difficult time.
Love,
Lisa
Elaine, Kate and I send our deepest sympathy; you and your family are in our prayers. John touched so many lives with his ability to bring out the best in them, trusting and supporting their abilities. His laugh, his wit, his industry understanding and most of all his welcoming nature was his signature. He also taught me the finer points of cigar selection, paired with the right wine…I live a little of that today.
In Love
John & Kate
John
We shared more than a few “weak ones” at our house over the years. Your visits on Christmas Eve were one of the highlights of the season. You sat patiently and listened to tales of Schepker Christmases past with interest and without complaining,even though I’m sure you had probably heard many of the stories multiple times in the past, Elaine allying into the Christmas tree and knocking it over, topping the list. We also looked forward to our get togethers for breakfast and lunch and talking Cardinals baseball and Blues hockey.We will miss you greatly.
John, Kind, gentle, loving, generous are just a few words of many to describe you. Over the years I have frequently benefited from your wise counsel and calming influence. I choose to celebrate your life with many happy memories. You truly will be missed by so many.
I am so sorry about John’s passing. I have nothing but great memories and the video brought back more. Praying the love of God and his comfort and mercy will be with you today and in the days to come.
much love,
Susan
Chasen’s , la Scala, and so many other places where we had Martinis….. the fondest memories of the man with the biggest heart. Dear Elaine sorry that he’s gone you sure were a fun couple to be with.
Sincerest condolences
John, I am deeply saddened by your passing. You left us far too soon. Knowing I will get no more time with you on this earth, leaves an ache in my heart which will stay with me for a long time.
Our visits with you and Elaine, while you were in LA, or more frequently in recent years during stops in Chesterfield on the way to or returning from our road trips to the east, were always highlights of the trip. Your hospitality and grace was always first-rate and almost always included at least one very hardy breakfast cooked by you. It was always good to catch up with you and see how you were doing. But you always spent more time talking about what we were up to and learning about how the rest of our family was doing. You loved discussing our Palm Desert adventures as well as other family trips.
I will treasure the many memories I have of you over the years. Your kind demeanor and generous nature; quick wit and low-key sense of humor; love of sports, Blues hockey and Cardinals baseball in particular; enthusiasm for art, music and entertainment; and love of fine food and drink are the things I will think of when I remember you. I will always think of you when I hear the words Bombay Gin (not Sapphire!) and Fleming’s happy hour.
Until we meet again, may your soul rest in the peace and happiness you deserve based on a life well-lived! You made this world a better place for those you met during your time here.
Love you buddy, Don
John Arthur, what a sweet sweet man! What a loving husband! He adored you Elaine.
What an amiable person!
So calm, humorous, comfortable, gentle and most of all kind. You left us too soon, but being the considerate man you are ,you left us with a trove of memories. A kindred spirit, who loved the ocean, being Irish, and had the Irish wit, and of course Sinatra. Brent and I remember walking to our cars together and you and I were singing “I’ve got you under my skin”. Who else but you would know all the words!
But most of all you loved Elaine. You both took such good care of each other ! And because of your love for her, you embraced us all, with kindness , humor and deep affection.
You will always be remembered.
You will never be forgotten.
And you’re passing breaks our hearts.
A moving and beautiful tribute to my dear Uncle John. John you were always my calm, mellow Uncle but when you had a story or a joke you always had me laughing hysterically with your quick and sharp wit and your dry sense of humor. I know you’re in Heaven looking down on us with love and we are all looking up to you with tears of sadness because you’re gone but also tears of happiness from so many wonderful memories of you. I love you John. “Until we meet again…”
The world lost a terrific person. John meant so much to me. He was my work dad, a great mentor and one of the kindest men I have ever met. He taught me so much about listening, taking it in stride, taking the time to enjoy the finer things and to always keep a sense of humor and have fun. I had my very first martini and good steak with John and he educated me on how to make both. To this day, I think of him every single time I have one. The dinners, the stories, the laughs, the lessons. I met John as a young and struggling single mother, his kindness and friendship at that time meant the world to me and still impacts me to this day. I wish I could of told him what a difference he made in my life. He will always have a special place in my heart. Love, peace and comfort to Elaine and family. I am so sorry for your loss.
What can I say? Already been said. John thanks for being you!
You will be greatly missed.
What can I say? John thanks for being you!
You will be greatly missed.
Class. Sophistication. Wit. Intelligence. Kindness. Good humor. And of course, great taste. Uncle John’s spirit endures through all those who were fortunate to share part of his journey and to learn from him along the way. And clearly, from these many moving tributes, that’s a whole lot of us. I’ll forever treasure the memories of our family time and adventures together, from Nantucket to St. Louis to California and beyond. Sending so much love to our adored Aunt Elaine – you’re in mine and so many other hearts.
Our loss is heaven’s gain. Score one more for the angels!
Reminiscing on so many happy occasions. At the top of the list is our shared enjoyment of the game of golf and our top three words while playing! At #3 FORE, #2 hit another one, and #1 ****!!!
I will never forget your compassion and understanding in helping me work through a very difficult life experience. It was a very trying time and you were a very good listener and validated my feelings and pain. I am forever grateful for your help in overcoming a terrible trauma.
I will miss you as part of the Schepker outlaw group.
Love you and with the help of so many family and friends committed to caring for your beautiful soulmate, Elaine.
Marge
Uncle John,
You were a true gem. Compassionate and kind to all, humans and animals alike. Even after many months or years apart, seeing you and Aunt Elaine again always felt familiar, comfortable, and was certainly fun. You were always a wonderful host with great food, great spirits, and great conversations at all times. I particularly enjoyed getting to know you even more over the past decade, and I’m saddened that our conversations about hockey, baseball, and movies have been cut all too short. We will remember your sense of humor, smile, and warmth forever. We love you so very much, and I promise your village on Earth will help take care of Aunt Elaine until she joins you again.
Uncle John,
As a child I remember thinking that you were the coolest. You were always up on the latest movies (and sometimes allowed us to tag along on your theater visits). You talked about art and history and read interesting books. When we visited you in California you made fabulous and fancy food. When you traveled to DC while I was still in college you took me to a fabulous and fancy dinner. You had a wonderful smile and laugh and you made us smile and laugh. It was fun to be around you because, not only were you cool, but you were interested in us even as members of the “kids’ table” at family gatherings.
As an adult, I know that you were the coolest. Because you were kind, genuine, compassionate, curious, intelligent, and loved sharing good food with family and friends. We so enjoyed visiting with you in St. Louis a couple of years ago. Grace and Henry still talk about all of the great memories from that vacation, including “hanging out with Uncle John and Aunt Elaine.”
Cheers to you!
John Arthur
I miss you….The world misses you.
You had the ability to be totally and completely “present” when we were together. You would look at me, you would often give a gentle touch, you would ask me questions about my life and you would pause… and listen. If we were at your house, you would want to make sure I had what I needed, a drink, an appetizer, more food. If we were at a restaurant together you wanted to know if I liked my food, how was my drink, did I want dessert. You took good care of the people in your life.
What I know for sure is that you took good care and deeply loved Elaine. There was never a doubt of your feelings for her.. the way you looked at her, said her name and how she could make you laugh. I have memories in high school taking the long trek to Ellisville, Missouri to visit Elaine’s boyfriend John at the Arthur theatre. When Mike and I visited you in California, as we were pulling away, we both commented how we were inspired by the love you and Elaine shared.
I am grateful for your touch in my life.
In the short time, I had the privilege to know John, I learned of his kindness, knowledge and wit.
John was so very kind to all including me. Here I was someone new to Elaine’s group of high school friends. A group John had known for fifty years. I became part of the group because I met and married one of Elaine’s friends (Joan), because her husband (Mike) had passed away. However difficult I’m sure it was for John to have someone new to this group, from the beginning he treated me as if I had always been around. I felt very welcomed and am so thankful for his kindness.
With regard to John’s knowledge, he was well versed on any subject. Probably one of my favorite subjects is movies and this was a subject for which John was extremely knowledgeable. I could talk to John for hours on this subject and savor every moment of our conversation and come away with having learned something new about a particular movie. However, this was only one subject of which he was a wealth of information. He truly could talk on any subject and provide valuable insight into whatever the topic was at that moment. I was always learning from John.
Lastly, but by far not least, John had a wonderful wit about him. He could make everyone in the room laugh with whatever he might share at that moment.
I feel so blessed that I got to know John and will miss him greatly. He was a wonderful husband and friend.
As I read through all of these lovely (and very true) comments about John, I have tears running down my face, but a smile on my lips. The tears are because John will be missed greatly and my heart is breaking, most especially for the love of his life, Elaine. The smile is because I know the joy that John obviously brought to so many, including my husband and me.
We were fortunate enough to spend a night in California with Elaine and John (and my sister and brother in law) on a layover for a trip to Hawaii. Elaine and John, you were such wonderful hosts and took care of all of our needs. It was lovely.
My fondest memories will be of the New Years’ Eves we were so kindly invited to over the last several years after John and Elaine returned to St. Louis. We laughed so much our stomachs hurt!! What I will remember most about that time with John, though, was how genuinely interested John was in everything we had to say. He would ask a question and then just look into our eyes to let us know he was listening to every bit of our answer.
John was one of the most kind and gentle people I have ever met. He was smart and had a great sense of humor. He was one of the good guys and we feel honored to have been able to spend time with him.
We are thinking of you, Elaine and sending love and prayers.
We are listening to Frank Sinatra today – Valentine’s Day – remembering the special love that John and Elaine shared. They were quite a team.
Marsha and David
Elaine, thank you so much for sharing John with us! He was so charming and charismatic that in the past just knowing that you two might be in visiting in Connecticut used to bring a smile to my face. My dad was very fond of him and that is a memory that will stay with me always. Peace and Love,
Mark and Patti Loalbo
Dear Elaine and family,
I’m so sorry to hear of John’s passing. What a fun guy he was and, as the video indicates, so dapper. Now I know why Mom respected him so much. They probably tried to out-dress each other at the Schepker reunions! She also cherished her vacation time with you and John in California. She would return with lots of stories. John will be missed by so many. Love to you all.
Mickie Schepker Wiegand
Elaine – thanks for the joy and memories you provided to our Mom, Marge, on her visits with “Soakie” to your lovely California home. She would return with a big smile from just being with you. She truly loved you and John. Now she gets to share a cocktail with John, again.
Take care and welcome to Iowa anytime you would bless us with a visit. Love you.
Elaine, I didn’t get to know your husband, John, outside of the Schepker Family Reunions (I looked at the pics I took from our last reunion and you guys were all smiles). We come from a large family and your parents, my Uncle Jake and Aunt Sophie, were a large part of my growing up years. I will miss John at our future reunions and hopefully we will have more. My condolences to you and your siblings and their families on the loss of a dear loved one.
John left us one month ago…February 4th. That seems impossible. Given the weight of the many heartbreaks accumulated here, 30 days does not seem enough to contain all of those sorrows. And yet, assembled here are also the lessons, joys and insights that were uniquely of John’s creation. He has left us with much to learn from, to savor, to carry on, and to share with those around us. Especially for sister Elaine, thank you for bringing John into our lives. We are all better people now. We are all eternally grateful. And if ever you need the support of others, remember that your legions of reliable friends and loving family are eager to step forward…just as John always did… for all of us.
Jim,
Well said.
Thank you for your kind words about brother John, and your love and concern for your sister Elaine
Be safe,
David Arthur
My family and I lived next door to John and Elaine in southern California for a number of years. He was a good friend, great neighbor and charming man, who made excellent martinis and was always ready to share a friendly smile. We were fortunate to continue the friendship even after we’d all moved to other places (and states). He will be missed.
I have such wonderful memories of our time on Chantonnay. John and Elaine were the best next-door neighbors anyone could wish for. The door was always open, emotional and physical support in whatever way was required (glass of champagne or martini on tap) and for me always a wonderful refuge from any craziness going on in my home. I love seeing the photos and remembering the times I spent at your kitchen table. John will be dearly missed by all who knew him…a jewel indeed. RIP my friend.
Dearest Elaine,
It’s been so many years since I’ve had the pleasure of seeing you and meeting John…. but no matter how much time passes, I’ve thought of you both… and hold very fond memories and admiration for the kindness, intelligence, and good humor you both shared. You are in my thoughts and prayers for comfort and healing at this time of profound loss.
Warmest Regards,
Kim Weiss (colleague and friend from Standard Register)