Marsha Bilderback
Our dear friend and cherished partner Marsha Jean Bilderback left this world in strong spirit, just as she lived her life. She was authentic and soulful, saw the world as it was, and fearlessly commented on all of it—the beauty and the reality. Behind her honesty was her boundless kindness and compassion.
Marsha was brilliant. She was a writer and poet, a musician, a composer and lyricist and a wonderful cartoonist. An incredible storyteller, she could enthrall and enchant a room with something as simple as recounting her day.
The only child of Mary Jane and Byron Bilderback, Marsha grew up with her cousins Diann and Joann who she loved as her big sisters. She spent summers with Vicki, Julie, and Laurie, her “east coast sisters,” at Rehoboth Beach. Marsha’s childhood was rich with the interests and passions that would stay with her throughout her life. She loved horses and all things equine, including the wild ponies at Chincoteague Island, and the books Misty and Stormy. She read voraciously and displayed an uncanny command of the English language powered by an encyclopedic brain that worked faster than most others in the room to provide little-known facts and humorous side notes to any conversation. She began playing the piano at an early age and studied with Chuck Nowotny for nearly two decades. Had she not suffered from horrible stage fright, Marsha might have become a piano virtuoso.
Instead, Marsha did what she was meant to do: she fell in love and had a son with her life partner, Sharon, and Lee and Jeff. She dedicated herself to creating a loving, committed, and caring family. Her love for her son Louis was boundless, as evidenced by the joy with which she shared in his life. She spoke of him to the end, even when it was hard for her to speak. She worked at Blue Cross for her entire adult life and naturally moved up the ranks to find her calling as a trainer extraordinaire.
Ever resilient, Marsha always maintained an upbeat and pragmatic perspective despite a number of health setbacks. These health issues may have compromised her mobility and her stamina, but they couldn’t touch her steely determination to remain independent and stay in the game, holding court with her family and friends and making people laugh. She felt this was her special power. She was a gifted storyteller, and nobody could tell a joke better than Marsha. She was the rare person who could laugh at herself.
Marsha died, unnecessarily and much too early, of COVID on September 13, 2020. Bells at the National Cathedral tolled, and citizens erected memorials of candles and flowers around the country for Marsha, and others, who were taken by this virus. It seems fitting, heartbreaking, and tragic that someone who was larger than life was slain in this epic battle of life and death.
All who knew Marsha will miss her laughter, her quick brain, her endless love, her brilliant wit, her warm embrace, her loving smile.
We will hold a celebration of Marsha Jean Bilderback’s life around the time of her birthday next fall. We will spread the word so don’t worry, just don’t miss it. It will be the best. A website will go up in the next year that will include her writings and music at marshajbilderback.com.
Of course, Marsha will happily permit celebrations throughout the year, so feel free to tell a joke, sing a song, and tell a Marsha story. You can also read one of her poems, included here for your pleasure. She would like donations to the Humane Society of Missouri. And please, don’t forget to thank her for making us all more alive.
GOOD QUESTION
By Marsha J. Bilderback
Alex,
The laboratory bird,
Learned to talk with men.
They taught him “please” and
“Thank you.”
He learned it all, and then
They asked him,
“Would you like a nut?”
And they were shocked to find
That Alex learned it all so well,
He answered them
“What kind?”
A beautiful description of how Marsha lived life. I miss her.
Rest in peace, Marsha. Thank you for everything you have done for Louis and for Lee and for me. Your zest for life, quick wit, and energy will evermore be a part of us. We miss you and will love you always.
Missing you so much, my dear cousin Marsha. The world is an emptier place without your warm laugh, quick wit, and generosity of spirit. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.
Above all, Marsha loved life and fought for her place in it. A quick wit and infectious laugh were Marsha’s hallmarks and will always bring a smile. My heart goes out to you, Sharon and Louis, for your loss. Peace, Marsha. Your memory lives on.
Missing you every day, Marsha. The world will never be the same.
A wonderful tribute to a person who leaves a strong imprint on the lives She touched. Such a loss.
It is still so hard to believe that Marsha is no longer with us. Above all she was a dear friend, cousin, confidante, my first real tennis buddy, smart advisor, lover of life, and loyal family member. I will always love her and miss her: smiling face and happy demeanor, inspire of her life long health problems. I’d like to share a few of my memories of Marsha below:
We were the Bilderback family of South St. Louis, & South County St.Louis. Our parents were best friends and Marsha was our younger sister. We always lived a few blocks away, and we all sort of grew up together as one big family.
In the early days there was probably some envy of Marsha —she was smarter in school, a better piano player, better card player, joke teller, etc. Marsha was great at telling jokes and she always had one to add to yours.
You had to like Marsha. She was a cheerful, kind and friendly person to anyone who was nice to her. And if you had a problem or bad day, she would listen and show understanding. She could make you feel better, help you solve your problems, and feel more confident in tackling your woes. Marsha and our moms (MaryJane & Mel) bring to mind the James Taylor song, “You’ve Got A Friend.” “When you down and troubled and you need a helping hand…….soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights.”
I will miss our midnight phone conversations about KC Chiefs football, tennis matches, old movies, our parents and crazy stories, our beloved pets. Her cats: Bowe, Boots, Henry, and boss -cat, Fiona. My mother rescued Henry in Kansas City, but Marsha gave Henry a luxurious home and lots of love for many years. It’s a good thing Fiona wasn’t around at that time.
Going back to St. Louis won’t be the same without Marsha. No matter where she was or what condition she was in, she was always full of fun, loved life , and hopes and dreams of getting better. We could talk forever and enjoy every minute of it.
Marsha was so proud of Sharon and Louis for their many achievements and character. They were the true highlight of her life. Marsha would do anything for those people that she loved. Sharon and Louis were blessings in Marsha’s short life. With all the terrible health issues throughout Marsha’s life, she would probably not have lived to be 65 years old had it not been for Sharon’s steadfast loyalty and love. Bless you, Sharon!
Always generous and planning ahead, Marsha’s Christmas present arrived on Saturday, the day before she passed. Always fun things for John, JT, Tally -2, and me. I’m so sorry I cannot give her a birthday or Christmas present. We will all miss her fun loving spirit, her kind and caring personality. Of course we had our differences but the things we had in common far surpass any differences. It’s so hard to lose a family member. I will think of her often and remember what a fighter she was, her positive attitude, and how she always had your back!I
I will miss Marsha as so many will and I will cherish the wonderful memories.
Joann (Bilderback) Christian
I miss you more everyday. You were the smartest and funniest person I ever met. You were so loyal and steadfast – true. The world is not the same without you. If this reaches you, wait for me.
You were the smartest and funniest person I ever met. You were so loyal and steadfast – true. The world is not the same without you. If this reaches you, wait for me.
Six months plus some weeks. The world is not the same. You were unique, and the world has lost a talent. I carry you in my heart. Thank you for all you gave me.
Seven months plus 4 days. Miss you more each day.
Everything you touch will turn to gold.
August. Hope you’re spending time at Rehoboth. Miss you every day.
I was greatly saddened to hear of Marsha’s passing. I never had the pleasure to meet her but I can tell she was a generous, talented free spirit. As a teenager in the early 70’s she and I were penpals. I lived in Grimsby, a fishing port in Lincolnshire, England. She shared my love of music and she sent fascinating letters and silly gifts such as practical jokes and even a blacklight. She compared her life in Hawkstone Lane (and your great city) to my more subdued life in a small fishing port. In those days she called herself Micky. We lost touch when I went to college but I retain very fond memories of those times when I was only about 17. I have listened to one or two of Marsha’s songs with a wistful enjoyment. Would love to hear more if they still exit. Happy days and kind thoughts to her friends, family and acquaintances. xxxxx