Terry L. Haeffner

Terry L. Haeffner, age 78, of St Charles, Missouri, passed away peacefully surrounded by his family on Friday, July 5, 2024. Born in St. Louis, Missouri on September 7, 1945, the son of the late Irvin & Marie (nee Oberfeld) Haeffner. Beloved husband of Patricia C. (Patty, nee Feldt) Haeffner for 57 years. Loving father of Tim (Trish) Haeffner, Stephanie (Tim) O’Brien, Ted Haeffner, Katie (Mike) Laffleur. Proud PawPaw of Tom, Terry (TJ), and Troy Haeffner, Maggie and Jack O’Brien, and Rylee Laffleur.  Dear brother of Jean (Don) Bates, and brother-in-law, uncle, great uncle, cousin, godfather and friend to many. 

He was preceded in death by his parents; in-laws: Clement Feldt, Sr. and Mary Louise Feldt Meitz, Joseph Meitz; brother Charles Haeffner, sister Patricia Ann Trammel, nephew Rocky Trammel; granddaughter Grace Ann Haeffner; and lifelong friends Everett and Mattie Dowell. 

Terry was a 1963 graduate of Ritenour High School in St. Louis, and he attended Three Rivers Community College in Poplar Bluff, Missouri. He worked at McDonnell Douglas Automation for 22 years before retiring from IBM in 2008.

He grew up the son of a General Motors mechanic where his love of cars began. His first car was a ‘65 Ford “Henry J” with no seats, only loose milk crates. He proceeded to work on his own cars and raced under alias names so he would not get in trouble. He cruised St. Charles Rock Road and hung out at Chuck-A-Burger in his white ‘57 Chevy convertible. One January 12th long ago there was a Chevy vs Mustang race on a country road in Caledonia that nearly cost him his life.

He enjoyed watching and participating in sports. He played in men’s softball leagues, enjoyed being the anchor in water skiing pyramids during vacations at the Lake, perfected his bowling skills resulting in a perfect 300 game, was inducted as a state champion in the National Horseshoe Pitchers Association of America in 1990, and was an avid lottery ticket scratcher.  Post retirement he was a partner in TNT Lawn Services. He was also the extended family handyman, although in later years his famous line was, “it’s good enough” when things didn’t go quite right.  Most importantly, he enjoyed spending time watching his grandkids grow and become young adults. 

A visitation will be held on Friday, July 19th, 2024, from 10:00 – 11:00 am at St. Joseph Catholic Church, 1355 Motherhead Road, Cottleville, Missouri 63304 followed by a memorial mass at 11:00 am. 

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made in Terry’s name to Cardinal Glennon Children’s Hospital or Siteman Cancer Center.

To share your memories of Terry or leave a special message of condolence for his family, please leave a comment below.



  1. John Redwine on July 12, 2024 at 9:17 am

    I’ve know Terry (Big T) for 48+ years, I worked for Terry at McDonnell Douglas Automation (MAC) beginning in 1976. Spent time with Terry on the softball field, Terry played for the Bandits and they won numerous championships at MAC. Our team was called the Indians, and Terry would come out and watch us play; I had not played any type of orgainzed baseball for many years and I played first base. The first time Terry came out and watched our team play he nick named me “Skillet Paws”! True to Terry’s nature he called it like he seen it! Terry love to compete at everything he played, there was a number of us who bowled with Terry our team name was “Drucken Pins” and the name was again appropriate for our team. The team over a two and half years finished 5 times as runner ups! Close but no cigar, but we had the absolute best times together. That team was made up of Charle Burgess, Mike Madorin, Steve Sprung, Dale Kuester, Bob Scarry, Gary Finchman, Terry and myself. As a team we would penalize a bowler if they missed a spare, head pin, or got hung by the team by not getting a strike! Unfortunately I had the lowest average and contributed most of the money (along with Bob Scarry and Mike Madorin) to the kitty, and every year we would all take a weekend and go fishing or golfing at the Lake of the Ozarks. The time we spent in the Ozarks was extremely memorable and the stories that came from those weekends are cherished by all of us. It’s hard for me now to see such a great friend gone, but Terry will always be with us because he really did touch so many lives, I will truly miss my friend but I’m a better person for knowing Terry. RIP my friend it’s so deserving. One of Terry’s sayings when we bowled was “Saying Something” and that is the last word.

  2. Steve Meitz on July 12, 2024 at 9:58 pm

    I was at Terry / Patty wedding 57 years ago. Patty and I grew up 1000 feet from each other and with 14 kids among our two close families, I remember Terry at many, many wedding receptions. After you know Terry for about 4 minutes you understand why the receptions did not really start until Terry was there. When I was married in 1974, of course the tradition of throwing the brides garter was a mainstay. Terry being married did not participate but that does not mean he was not involved. He was on the sideline hooting and agitating his Feldt brother in laws to give up their bodies to capture this prize. My memory is not perfect but perhaps alcohol was involved. Even though my back was turned I knew the Feldt boys were close in order to get the best advantage. I purposely threw the garter high to pass over the front row of participants. Well this reception hall had the usual 10 foot, sound absorbing ceiling you would expect. What wasn’t expected was that the garter hit the ceiling, stuck there and did not come down. Well, this resulted in an additional level of sound decibels led by competitive Terry who would not let anyone give up. The boys were running, jumping, crashing, boasting and I think young Ronnie got the best of the room. …. On July 19 I will celebrate my anniversary 50 while recognizing it was Terry who made me retell this story for the first time since it happened. Thank you Terry for the smile you put on our faces and the light you put into every room.

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