Thomas Owen Mitchell
Tom Mitchell of St. Louis passed away on Tuesday, August 18, 2020 at age 84. He was born in Denver,Colorado on October 22, 1935. He is predeceased by his wife of fifty years, Alice Mitchell (nee Flanagan). He is survived by his daughters, Kathy Mitchell and Mimi Schaefer, his grandsons Christian and Matthew Schaefer, his sisters Lois Kellogg and Judy Blom, his brother Jim Mitchell, his partner Louise Miller, and numerous nieces and nephews.
Tom received a Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy from Catholic University in 1956. In 1967 and 1969, respectively, he earned a Master’s Degree and a PhD in Psychology from the University of Colorado, Boulder. After Tom earned his PhD, he and Alice moved to Carbondale, Illinois in 1968. Tom began a career at Southern Illinois University Carbondale (SIU-C). His roles at SIU-C included Professor of Psychology, Associate and Acting Dean of the Graduate School, and Director of Undergraduate Studies in Psychology. Tom was a pioneer in self-directed learning long before the development of online instruction, establishing a program of audio recordings and written materials which allowed his students to learn flexibly on their own schedules. His class was a favorite among students at SIU-C.
Many of his students kept in touch with him long after taking his class, finding Tom to be a positive influence in their lives by providing advice and inspiration. In 1993 Tom retired and he and Alice moved to Wilmington, NC, where they were actively involved in the local community. Tom loved living in the historic district and served two terms as the President of the Residents of Old Wilmington. He was dedicated to preserving the historic district of Wilmington, and served as Chairman of the Historic Preservation Committee.
Tom met Louise E. Miller in Wilmington in September 2016, and they began a committed relationship which continued for the rest of Tom’s life. In 2019 Tom relocated to St. Louis. Louise made frequent visits and became his primary caregiver for his last several months, witnessing his grace and courage as he handled his final illness.
Tom was a generous, kind, intelligent man who has inspired such comments as “I was honored to know him”. He loved to travel internationally. He took numerous trips to France, spoke fluent French, and had aspired to live in Paris. As a former Latin teacher, his ability to master languages was exceptional – for example, he would greet the local Greek restaurant owner in Greek. After arriving in St. Louis began studying Bosnian, planning to connect with employees at his retirement community by conversing with them in their native language.
He possessed an exceptional talent for playing music and was very fond of classical and chamber music. His phenomenal musical ability extended to playing the piano, organ, and harpsichord. He owned a custom-built harpsichord and an antique grand piano. He took delight in attending the symphony and the opera.
Tom was a life-long Denver Broncos fan, having been born and raised in Colorado. He enjoyed baseball, basketball, football, and hockey. He introduced his daughters to Major League Baseball by taking them to St. Louis Cardinals games. He enjoyed watching his grandsons play baseball and hockey. He was always interested in attending college and professional sporting events. He once had an “all sports weekend” in Florida which included an NBA game, NCAA basketball, and an Atlanta Braves spring training game in one weekend.
Tom was an active, involved parent and grandparent. He enjoyed explaining his grandsons’ hobby of drifting cars to his friends, most of whom had never heard of such a thing. As a father, he was always there for school events, games, and practices. He knew the friends of his children and would ask about them often. When his daughters were in school, he was a constant source of support for homework questions. He was especially helpful with math!
He loved to talk on the phone, regularly engaging in one to two hour phone calls with family and friends. Tom’s loving, gentle guidance was a source of comfort to many. He was a brilliant intellectual, yet he made everyone feel like a friend. His appreciation for others’ unique traits and accomplishments was conveyed through his warm, effusive compliments and genuine interest. He had a zest for life and was a lifelong learner. He will be missed by all who knew him.
Yes, I was honored to know him!
Tom was a great neighbor and a good friend. I was his vice-president when he took the helm of the Residents of Old Wilmington (NC) and set about revising the organization’s bylaws. A mind like a steel trap, and a stentorian voice you could not forget! His attention to detail was amazing. His service (along with his beloved Alice’s service) to our community was great, and they are both sorely missed.
Many thanks to dear Louise for caring for Tom in his last years.
Tom was my good friend and role model during the 21 years we shared as neighbors and kindred spirits in Wilmington’s historic district. I admired and attempted to emulate his clear and forceful leadership in our community and his passion for intelligent, rigorous analysis of the issues we faced. I was privileged to spend hours with him around our kitchen tables musing over the vicissitudes of life. He was extravagantly generous in sharing his time and empathetic insights when I faced my spouse’s terminal illness and present to celebrate the joy of new beginnings in the years that followed. He’s one whose passing leaves us all diminished.
I knew Tom through Louise. He was an interesting and caring person. He was always so personable and engaging. I am glad I got to know him.
Tom has been my friend for 66 years, since we were in school together at Catholic University, in D.C.
What a big and good person Tom was, how he loved his family, and how courageous he was in facing hardship.
Bruce Byrolly
Cambridge MD
The last time I saw him was Sunday, June 23, 2019, when I visited him in his apartment in St. Louis. Louise, his beloved partner, was with him. Tom amazed us both as, he beautifully played some of Bach’s Goldberg Variations.
His life was so rich.
My brother Tom was my best friend for 77 years. He was a caring, loving big brother who always had the ability to make me feel like a million dollars. He bought my first bicycle, taught me the Greek alphabet at age 10. I learned to drive in his 53 Packard and over the years shared the ups and downs of of growing old. Our phone calls would last until our sides hurt from laughter. Our Dad’s eyes would always light up when he told me of Tom’s latest phone call. Rest in peace, brother.
Dear Mimi and the Mitchell Family,
I’m very sorry to hear about the passing away of your Dad. Although I did not know him but after reading his obituary above I can see some of his traits in you Mimi – what an extraordinary high achiever he was.
Although he is physically not here anymore but he lives in your hearts. I lost my Dad approximately 3 years ago and I feel lost without him but one has to adjust to the new normal. It is specially bitter-sweet to be told by my Mom and my sister that they see Dad in me.
I’m sure your Dad can be seen in you and your sister and his grandchildren.
Regards,
Kumar
Tom and Alice lived across from us on Rod Lane in Carbondale. We loved to hear his piano playing from across the street. What a lovely obituary and video — he was a remarkable person and I could tell how much he loved his family and how much he was and is loved back. May your memories of him bring you comfort.