Debbie Baumgartner
Debbie Ann Baumgartner, died peacefully at home February 14, 2026, surrounded by family and friends, nineteen months after a diagnosis of metastatic rectal cancer.
Deb is survived by her wife, Stephanie Anne Murphy, her sisters Donna Stemler, Darlene “Dee” (Dave) DeRousse, nieces Jessica (Bob) Donovan and Sara (Eric) Maxey, nephews Derik (Dawn Hicks) and Dustin DeRousse, grandniece and grandnephew Libby and Drew Donovan, sister-in-law and brother-in-law Beth Murphy and Jason Bollinger, heart-daughter and heart-son-in-law Shannon (Metts) and Spencer Collins, and bestie Jeanna Kasten (Rose Ullman). She is preceded in death by brother Mark, parents Irene (Gebhardt) and William “Bill” Baumgartner, and brother-in-law Ron Stemler.
Deb was born November 20, 1969, the surprise fourth child of Irene and Bill. She first became an aunt when she was just seven, beginning a lifelong love of babies and children. She was affectionately known as “Tidy” by her adored brother Mark, reasons best known to him. His regular tag-along, at the tender age of ten Deb was devastated by Mark’s loss, which she never really processed. Listed as “bossy” and criticized for helping other too much on elementary school report cards, Deb was a chatty and energetic child.
Deb loved planning surprises or finding the perfect gift and was always thinking about how to make people happy, especially Steph, her partner since 2014, and wife since 2019. She loved new experiences just as much as new people and was always ready for the next adventure, whether in the workplace, on the road, or inside her heart and mind. She sought to be both grounded and open and grew devoted to self-improvement.
Deb never met a stranger. She loved living in St. Louis city with its diverse culture and many people. She loved getting to know someone on a personal level and wouldn’t hesitate to start a conversation with anyone. She was genuinely curious about people’s lives and thoughts and had a way of making everyone feel special and heard. She was passionate about cooking, experimenting with new cuisines, new seasonings, new techniques, but to Deb the best thing about cooking was her joy of sharing food with others.
If life is measured by how much love we put out into the world, then it almost makes sense that Deb reached her “quota” so young, because she loved so many so deeply.
A Celebration of Life will be held April 4, from 2-8pm at the Stone Shelter in Tower Grove Park (St. Louis City). For more information and RSVP click this link.
I will miss my friend since jr high and I know her spirit will shine on. I will always remember her and smile know she will always be with me
My sincere condolences to Steph her beloved wife!
She truly invited the stranger, the lonely, the single individual, the lost, and the looking. She accepted everyone and met them where they were. She had an ability to see the real value of each person despite the outward appearance. She accepted me. She inspired me. She prayed with me at the level I needed. And she was strong enough to call me on my bs. I’m better person from knowing her.
Jerris Sherrill
Deb was definitely a one of a kind. She had a smile that would light up a room. We met in our early twenties and remained friends since. She was one of the kindest people you would ever meet. Always ready to lend an ear or give a hug. Deb never met a person that she couldn’t relate to on some level and it showed in her conversations. My condolences, thoughts and prayers go out to the family and many friends of Debs. Fly high my friend.
You will be dearly missed.
Deb was definitely a lover, she loved and was loved by so many. I will cherish every moment I spent with her, wishing I had more. I think of her every day, and miss her.
She was such a loving and caring person, and “Aunt Deb” to my daughter, a bond created not by blood, but simply by love.
The last time I saw, sang for, and hugged her will live forever in my mind.
The hug is NEVER long enough….
We love you Deb, and Steph!
Though not “family” Wilbur and I feel like we are, as Deb treated us as if we were. Can’t say enough about our wonderful “daughter” – we are so happy to have shared in her life – so blessed to have known such a loving, caring person. We will miss her but always also continue to share in the joy she brought to so many.
I loved Deb from the first time I met her with that beautiful smile, loving heart and her carrying for all. I will miss her always.
Debbie was one of the first people I meet my Sophomore year at Oakville high school. She didn’t have a mean bone in her body, her soul was full of live for everyone and if you were her friend you know how unconditional her love was. I could go on about all the great things we shared, but I’ll end with saying I’m honored to have shared this life with her and I’ll find her again in the next!
As we approach Deb’s Celebration of Life in about two weeks, we wanted to share a few additional details as we prepare to gather on Saturday, April 4th at the Stone Shelter in Tower Grove Park to honor and celebrate her life.
Flow of the Day
From 2:00-5:00 PM, the gathering will be more casual and relaxed. This is a time to share memories, enjoy food, play lawn games, and spend time together.
From 5:00-8:00 PM, we’ll transition into more structured programming with a few planned speakers and a community activity.
Sunset Drum Circle (~6:30 PM)
Around sunset, we’ll come together for a special drum circle led by Aria Thomé, intended as a moment to connect and celebrate Deb’s life and memory. Guests are encouraged to bring a hand drum if they have one, though many will be available to share. This should be an impactful and meaningful event!
Food & Drinks Reminder
Food will be provided. Please remember to BYO beverages (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) and kindly avoid glass containers.
What to Bring
-Wear orange or comfortable clothing
-Copies of printed photos or written memories of Deb to display or share
-Come prepared for weather of all types (sun, wind, or cooler evening temps)
-Optional: bring a blanket or chair for the lawn (some seating will be provided)
We look forward to honoring Deb together. Please reach out to Shannon Metts Collins or Stephanie Murphy if you have any questions.
I don’t think I can improve what Jen Norman-Latimer said.
Deb was bigger than life & that is rare. She lit up a room when she came in. Never stopped smiling & laughing. She made sure everyone knew she genuinely loved them. The BIG hugs were eternal. She hugged as long as she wanted. She may have cracked ribs.
Like Jen I think about her daily & sometimes wake up with tears in my eyes.
Deepest sympathies to Stephanie & family. We are all here for you. Whatever you need. Just to talk, get out of the house, go to a movie, maybe dinner. Just know how she loved & everyone loved her back 😢
I regret that I did not have the opportunity to know Deb for a longer period, as her presence was truly delightful.